


you know that i'll forgive you just this once (twice, forever)

by stefonzolesky



Category: Horrible Bosses (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 12:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Dale Arbus is seventeen, and he’s trying to convince his friends that getting a haircut isn’t a bad idea.





	you know that i'll forgive you just this once (twice, forever)

Dale Arbus thinks that high school is as good a time as any to sort his life out. His hair goes past his shoulders, he’s short and definitely not okay with it, and his two best friends probably have a crush on him, which sucks, because he’s like seventy-five percent sure he likes girls. 

Not that it matters for most of the things that they do together, because not only do Nick and Kurt like to hold hands with him, but they also like to hold hands with each other. The moment he points out that it’s a little gay, they drop it for a couple days, but it always comes back.

 

He’s sixteen years old and if he had a dollar for every time one of them asked him on a date, he’d probably have enough money to buy a thousand bags of the chips he can never stop eating once he starts, which would be a nightmare because they’re just  _ so fucking good _ . 

Something about Dale’s real name suffocates him, ( _ Daphne _ , it’s gross,) because it just feels so stuffy and he’d really rather it didn’t. Nick tells him that he likes it. Kurt puts his head in Nick’s lap and says the same thing. Dale flicks Kurt in the forehead.

 

Dale Arbus is seventeen, and he’s trying to convince his friends that getting a haircut isn’t a bad idea.

“You’ll look like a dyke,” Nick tries to reason with him, his fingers bouncing against his leg. “Like, a real one. You already act like one, isn’t that enough?”

“So what if I do?” Dale argues back. “You and Kurt act like fags enough, and it’s my place to get a haircut if I want one.”

“I like to think that I’m secure enough in my sexuality to act like a faggot,” Kurt says, pride leaking into his voice for some reason. He wraps his arm awkwardly around Nick’s shoulders, ignoring the glare both boys are sending him.

“Or, and hear me out--” Dale sits up a little straighter so he can sorta-kinda look Kurt in the eyes even though Kurt is way taller than him. “You’re actually gay.”

“Whatever, se ñ orita,” Kurt tells him. “Either way, Nick is right. You’ll look like a dyke, and people already think you’re one ‘cuz you only hang out with guys and you aren’t dating one of us yet.”

“When’s that gonna happen, by the way?” Nick chimes in.

 

Obviously, Dale cuts his hair that night purely out of spite. Kurt swallows his pride and tells him that it doesn’t look nearly as bad as he thought that it would. Nick silently agrees.

 

Dale Arbus is about ninety-eight percent sure that his two best friends have started fucking. They’ll never admit to it, and he knows that, but he really wishes that he weren’t caught in the middle of all their arguments from that point onwards. 

Some girl in his class hands him a petition to sign, and it interests him, so he signs it. Normally he’s not about that shit, but something convinces him this time. He signs it first, and then Kurt grabs the clipboard from him before he can fully realize, oh _ shit, _ he wrote Dale.

He tries to wrestle the clipboard back from Kurt, using as much of his bite that he can, but Kurt is stronger than he could have anticipated, and it ends with Dale on the ground.

Kurt laughs, turning the pencil around in his hand. “Dale?” He looks down at Dale. “Huh.”

“What?” Nick sits up a little straighter behind Kurt, the curt conversation having piqued his interest. “Who’s Dale?”

Kurt gestures to Dale with his foot. “This kid, I think. Dale Arbus.” He pauses. “Has a nice ring to it, y’know.”

They don’t really catch on, but it’s progress. Unintentional progress, but progress nonetheless.

 

They skirt around the topic a little, never full-on asking Dale what’s happening. Nick flirts with him less. Kurt flirts with him more. Dale means to ask him about that, but he never does.

 

One day, Nick kisses his cheek. Dale winces and wipes Nick’s spit off his skin with a mumble of, “Gross, man, get that gay shit away from me.”

Nick doesn’t blink twice. He just licks the palm of his hand and rubs it on Dale’s cheek. He doesn’t ask a single question, but Dale can see the questions in his face. Kurt punches him in the shoulder and he sits back.

“You guys don’t have to tiptoe around me, you know,” Dale finally says, because he’s reached his tipping point. “I’m not porcelain or some shit.”

“I know.” Nick shrugs. “I just didn’t want to make you say more than you wanted to. It’s not my place to bombard you with questions, or whatever. If you wanna cut your hair and tell everyone your name is Dale, who am I to stop you?”

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees beside him, and Dale fleetingly looks at his hand on Nick’s thigh but decides against bringing that up in case it causes another argument.

“I don’t wanna tell  _ everyone _ that,” Dale clarifies, his voice soft. This whole time, he’s been trying to act tough, but at this point he’s sure that his friends can tell that he’s scared as fuck about the situation. “I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Regardless, it’s not our place.” Nick moves to ruffle Dale’s hair, and Dale swats his hand away. “You do you, lady.”

Dale grimaces, and Kurt digs his elbow into Nick’s ribs. “Don’t call Dale  _ ‘lady,’ _ man.”

Nick winces and shoves Kurt. “Asshole.” He rubs at his side. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. If Dale hasn’t told me that what I’m saying is wrong, I’ll keep saying it.”

Dale tries to say something, but nothing works, so he just watches the conversation pan out.

“I think it’s safe to assume you’re wrong,” Kurt tells him. “Considering the circumstances. You’d be an idiot to think you’re right. Right?”

They look at Dale expectantly, and upon having eyes on him, he panics. All he can manage is a shrug.

“I stand by my point,” Kurt says. Nick rolls his eyes.

“Okay, Dale.” He points a finger at Dale. “Tell me what you want.”

Dale shrugs, panic rising up in his throat. “I-- You just-- I don’t know what you want me to say? I didn’t even say anything about my name, and you kept telling me I’d look like a dyke if I cut my hair, and I’m not even a lesbian but I  _ do _ like girls.”

He swallows the lump that formed in his throat.

“You’re a dyke?” Nick asks, finally cracking the silence.

Kurt nudges him in the ribs again, earning a soft yelp. “He just said he’s not a lesbian, asshole.”

The silence fills the air again, and it’s so thick that Dale feels like he might choke on it. His chest is tightening up. Nick puts his hand on his shoulder, and he can faintly hear Nick asking if he’s okay, but he doesn’t have the energy to respond.

 

The next thing Dale knows, he’s on a ledge outside the school, Nick is smoking a cigarette, and he’s cold. 

“Sorry,” He finally says.

Kurt glances over at him. “So he speaks.”

Dale can’t help but smile. Nick’s cigarette is threatening to fall out of his hand, and he’s leaning against Kurt like he might fall asleep. Kurt takes the cigarette from him and Nick’s eyes fall shut almost instantly.

“What time is it?” Dale asks.

He shrugs. “Probably around two.”

“And why’s Nick so tired?”

Kurt glances to Nick, asleep against his chest. “He had a long night, I guess.”

Dale waits a few minutes to say anything else, until he’s sure Nick is completely asleep, just because he doesn’t want to cause any arguments.

“What’s going on?” He finally asks. “Between you and him, I mean.”

Kurt sighs and takes a drag of Nick’s cigarette. “Not nearly as much as I’d like, that’s what.”

Dale tries to hide the fact that he’s so startled by this response. “Yeah?”

Kurt glances at him. “Yeah. He… he and I have a good thing going, though. It’s not a real relationship, but it’s something. I’ve slept with him a good few times.”

Dale nods, and falls silent. He watches the way that Kurt smokes and the way he looks at Nick, still asleep on his chest. Like for once in his life, everything makes a little more sense.

Kurt denies the conversation after that. Dale expected him to do exactly that, because Kurt is embarrassed, and Dale would play matchmaker with his friends if he didn’t know them well enough to know that things would take a turn for the worst.

 

To his surprise, Kenny Sommerfeld is the one who takes charge. It’s not like Dale doesn’t try to stop him, or anything. Kenny just won’t listen.

He pulls Dale aside one day during their free period -- under the bleachers -- and Dale shuts his eyes and prepares for Kenny to kiss him, because that’s the kind of guy Kenny is.

“Daphne,” He hisses through gritted teeth. “We have to do something about your friends.”

Dale opens his eyes. “What?”

“Nick and Kurt,” Kenny clarifies. “They’re pissing everyone off, because it’s really obvious they’re into each other. You know? But all they do is argue and flirt, and y’know, some people have a problem with that.”

“What, you want me to just, like, make them not faggots or somethin’ like that?” Dale raises an eyebrow.

Kenny sighs. “Well, first of all, you know you could do that. Right?”

“I really couldn’t,” Dale protests. Kenny stares at him like he’s grown a second head, and Dale almost has to check to make sure that he hasn’t.

“Are you serious?” Kenny’s eyebrows shoot together. “You’re a mildly attractive girl. You could date one of them or something so they stop pissing us off.”

Dale opens his mouth to protest, but Kenny shakes his head.

“That wasn’t the point I was going to make, anyway.” He rolls his eyes. “You were the one that brought that up, not me.”

“Get on with it, then,” Dale says. “We’re gonna run out of time.”

“We need to get them together!” Kenny says it like it’s a genius plan.

Dale scoffs. “Bad idea, guy.”

Kenny deflates. All the pride leaves his shoulders. “What? Why?”

“A million reasons,” Dale tells him, preparing to count on his hands. “One, this is something they have to work through on their own. I know my friends, and I know you can’t play matchmaker with them. Two, if either of their parents found out, I’d be dead. Once you get them together, they won’t be able to keep their hands off of each other. Again,  _ I know my friends. _ Three…”

This goes on for some time, well into their next period, and by the end, Kenny is gaping. The bell rings.

“Wow,” He says. Pause. “I guess we have to go, now.”

“Yeah,” Dale agrees.

Kenny watches him. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and before Dale can register what’s happening, Kenny kissing him. It’s wet and gross and Dale wants out the second he realizes what’s happening.

When he pulls away to breathe, Dale wipe the spit off his lips.

“Congratulations,” He says, bitterness leaking into his voice. “You just did something gay.”

Kenny pales. “You mean--”

“Yeah.” Dale makes sure to confirm before he finishes, because he’s learned that it makes his stomach hurt when people talk about it out loud. He doesn’t care if Kenny understands, he just wants him to stop talking.

Kenny nods. He spares Dale one more glance and then leaves like he’s scared he might get sick if he sticks around.

 

Dale quickly learns that word travels when someone is as fucked up as he is. He tries to ignore all the stares he gets in the hallway.

“Did something happen?” Nick asks him one morning. “Because, like, everyone’s kinda been looking at you weird.”

“Kenny kissed me,” Dale says. “And now everyone’s talking about me ‘cause I said it was gay.”

Nick gapes at him for a second. “...why would you say that?”

Dale sighs, frustration nearly spilling from every opening on his face. “Because!” He splutters a little. “He kissed me, and he pissed me off, and he’s trying to do shit that just won’t happen!”

“What?” Nick stops in his tracks. “Is he trying to fuck you, or something? What happened?”

“Who’s tryna fuck Dale?” Kurt joins, and Dale jumps.

“Jesus, Kurt!” Dale slaps him lightly. “Nobody’s trying to fuck me!”

Kurt gestures to Nick. “That’s what he said, not what I said.”

Dale throws his arms up, exasperated, and takes one look towards his classroom before turning on his heel. “I’m leaving,” He says. “I’m not up for school today.”

Nick follows him. Kurt doesn’t. The two of them walk in silence until they near the playground a block from school and Dale turns to confront his friend.

“Why are you following me?” He asks.

Nick frowns. “Because you’re my friend, and you’re very obviously upset. Dipshit. Why wouldn’t I follow you?”

Dale gestures towards the school. “Kurt didn’t follow me.”

Nick shrugs. “Would you rather I didn’t?”

Dale bites hard on his lip. “...No. Sorry.”

“Alright.” Nick smiles. “Where are you headed?”

Dale laughs a little bit, relieved that he has someone to talk to even though he didn’t know that’s what he wanted. “I was gonna smoke underneath the jungle gym. You want a cigarette?”

Nick politely declines, and he sits across from Dale while he smokes, and Dale would be beyond happy if Nick didn’t keep looking over his shoulder.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Dale asks him.

Nick glances back at him again. “What? I’m not doing anything.” Pause. “Did you wanna talk about what happened with Kenny?”

“I mean, yeah,” Dale starts and then it registers to him what Nick is doing, so he smiles a little. “You go first.”

Nick takes a second to speak, but eventually gives in. “I’m avoiding Kurt, alright? And I just wanted to make sure he didn’t follow us. Happy?”

“Not at all,” Dale admits. “What happened?”

“I…” Nick shrugs. “He and I hit some sorta rough patch. He’s… He’s gay, you know? Kurt’s gay.”

Dale can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I know. And?”

“And, I think he likes me, or something. Like… really,” Nick clarifies.

Dale stares at his friend blankly for a second before he speaks. “You know, he told me that you two have been fucking around.”

Nick curses under his breath. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dale tells him. “He’s already tearing himself up pretty bad.” Pause. “You two work. Don’t fuck it up, dude.”

“It's kinda weird to take advice from you,” Nick admits. “Because most of the time you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dale decides to take what he says as a compliment rather than an insult.

Nick breaks the silence after a while, shifting to reposition himself. “Why did you feel like skipping, anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Dale lies, and then shakes his head. “I… Everyone’s talking about me at school. I don’t wanna hear all that, and I  _ really _ don’t wanna get my head shoved in a toilet.”

Nick’s eyebrows furrow. “Shit, man. I wonder what people are saying.”

“Yeah,” Dale mumbles. “I don’t want to hear it. I’ll just get Kurt to tell me after school. He’s good at making things like that less heavy.”

“You’re right.” Nick sighs. “He’s good at a lot of things.”

Dale laughs before he can stop himself. “Nick, dude,” He says. “You have got it  _ bad.” _

Nick looks indignant. “I don’t,” He insists, but it looks like he knows that he does. He presses his lips into a thin line. “I don’t.” At this point, he’s probably just trying to convince himself. “What about you?”

“Lazy attempt to change the subject,” Dale tells him. “I don’t know. I haven’t… I feel like it’s gonna be pretty hard for me to date anyone.”

“I didn’t ask you if you’re gonna date anyone.” Nick scoffs. “I meant, like, do you have your eye on anyone?”

Dale hesitates. “Yeah. A girl I have English with.”

Nick raises an eyebrow. He bats his eyelids. “Tell me more.”

“What?” Dale blushes furiously. “No, dude, it’s just a stupid crush. I’m not gonna say anything else about her.”

“At least give me her name,” Nick insists.

Dale sighs. He caves in. “Stacey.”

Nick laughs. “Stacey? Isn’t Kurt friends with her?”

“Yeah…” Dale drawls, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t… everyone is already super weirded out with my entire existence, and that would just make things worse.”

“I won’t,” Nick swears. “If you don’t tell anyone about the thing with… with Kurt.”

“I know you’d kill me,” Dale says. “I wasn’t planning on it. You  _ do  _ have to deal with that at some point, though.”

Nick rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it at some point.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, and Dale puts out his cigarette on his jeans. “Are you gonna go back to school today?”

“I don’t think so,” Nick admits.

“Because of Kurt?” Dale presses.

Nick rolls his eyes again. “Shut up.”

 


End file.
